I guess I didn't get alot of flowers growing up so they really mean something to me. I love flowers that is all. (Hint hint Jon that memo is to be burned into your brain)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Random: FLOWERS
I got flowers last month from some of the worlds best people. I also got cards which equally make me happy, although I didn't post a picture of them. I save cards, sometimes I scrap book them or I just keep them around until I feel I don't need the comfort that they lend. Anway I got these flowers all about the same week while I was babysitting the Ashton kids. They were starting to wonder what was wrong with me. My sister sent the tulips from Cali and when I came home with a huge box to arrange them the 6 yr old, who also got flowers from her vacationing Dad that day, said hey why did you get flowers, it's not your birthday. Funny.
I guess I didn't get alot of flowers growing up so they really mean something to me. I love flowers that is all. (Hint hint Jon that memo is to be burned into your brain)
I guess I didn't get alot of flowers growing up so they really mean something to me. I love flowers that is all. (Hint hint Jon that memo is to be burned into your brain)
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Friends come to visit
Our family friends came into town for a quick visit on Sunday and we had lots of fun trying to entertain them. I tried to make danish pasteries again and they flopped but it's a tricky recipe. Maddie and Hinder were giggling in no time and apparently climbed into her crib together. I wish Jon would have gotten a picture of that! Destry and I were able to catch up and have some good laughs. Here's some pictures I caught at the end of the visit.
The best snapshot of all the hugging going on. Hinder looks like such a little man here.
I thought this was a really good picture of our friends, not so much of me and Maddie. She was playing with some gum she found, yuck. Hinder is so cute and so is Destry who looked like she walked right off of Downeast's spring catalogue.
This was a long hug that started in the middle of the room and ended with Hinder tackeling Maddie on the couch. So funny. I can't wait for them to play again when they can communicate really well, or maybe just when Maddie can :)
The bunch of us, minus Jon who was taking the picture. Destry has been my friend since 3rd grade? So many memories, anyway I love this picture with the two of us and our kids so close in age.
The best snapshot of all the hugging going on. Hinder looks like such a little man here.
I thought this was a really good picture of our friends, not so much of me and Maddie. She was playing with some gum she found, yuck. Hinder is so cute and so is Destry who looked like she walked right off of Downeast's spring catalogue.
This was a long hug that started in the middle of the room and ended with Hinder tackeling Maddie on the couch. So funny. I can't wait for them to play again when they can communicate really well, or maybe just when Maddie can :)
The bunch of us, minus Jon who was taking the picture. Destry has been my friend since 3rd grade? So many memories, anyway I love this picture with the two of us and our kids so close in age.
Cookie Oreos
So they turned out ok, well at least they look really good. I used pure vanilla so I thought they had a strong vanilla taste, but my only advice is to NOT eat while hot. Otherwise its all mush inside. I did at least the maximum amount of time it called for. But it was deffinetly fun to try out. Cookie batter makes well mounded cookies not very chewy. For the recipe see previous post. Recipe from picky-palate.com.Thursday, March 10, 2011
Oreos, Oreos, Oreos
A COOKIE INSIDE A COOKIE, why didn't I think of that? I love Oreos and I make alot of desserts that contain Oreos. I like to make Home Made Oreo Cookies (actually these don't include oreos but they are in the name) and Oreo Truffles. But I have found something new to add to my TO DO list.
OREO Stuffed Chocolate Chip Cookies
2 sticks softened butter
3/4 C packed light brown sugar
1 C granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 Tbsp pure vanilla
3 1/2 C all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
10 oz. bag chocolate chips
1 bag Oreo cookies (can use double stuff)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In mixer cream butter and sugars until well combined. Add in eggs and vanilla until well combined.
In a seperate bowl mix the flour, salt, and baking soda. Slowly add to wet ingredients along with chocolate chips until just combined. Using a cookie/ice cream scoop take one scoop of cookie dough and place on top of an Oreo cookie. Take another scoop of dough and place on bottom of Oreo cookie. Seal edges together by pressing and cupping in hand until Oreo cookie is enclosed with dough. Place onto a parchment or silpat lined baking sheet and bake cookies 9-13 minutes or until cookies are baked to your liking. Let cool for 5 minutes before transferring to cooling rack. Serve with a tall glass of milk, enjoy!
Makes about 2 dozen VERY LARGE cookies.
I got this recipe from A Mamma's B blog who linked Picky-palate.com. Yum I'm excited.
President's Day Weekend
Last month during Presidents Day weekend we went to Priest Lake ID to my Uncle's cabin with my family. It was fun and I even rode a snowmobile. You have to understand I pretty much grew up on snowmobiles, but I always wrecked or got stuck or fell off and so I didn't completely appreciate them. Now I'm older and we have much nicer sleds that are much easier to manuever. Anyway it was actually fun and I'm glad I went on a ride with my Dad and Jon. Jody came up from BYU and spent some time with us. It's always fun to have her around. These are some pictures to commemorate the weekend.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Tears
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love."
I hope that my previous post does not depress you. As I have found it most healing and it has allowed me acceptance. Thank you all.
I hope that my previous post does not depress you. As I have found it most healing and it has allowed me acceptance. Thank you all.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
For My Angel
Dear Baby,
I love you and I will miss you. I want you to know I prayed for you a month after having my IUD removed several months ago. I wanted you so badly. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to have children again, because this whole IUD thing was new to me. Then week after week I would test and retest hoping, longing. We were sure this was the perfect time to have an addition to our family, because we FINALLY had insurance and Maddie would be the perfect age to be a helpful sibling. Then after spending a weekend in Leavenworth I noticed a bloated tummy, heightened sense of smell, little dizziness, and then alittle nausea. I was so excited, but nervous I had taken many tests before and had been disappointed to tears. I tried to be sneaky, I went into the bathroom and took a test. HALELUJAH, you were there in my tummy and I wasn't going crazy thinking I was having ALL the symptoms.
Then some disappointment, your Dad was let go from work. We were so sad, but kept thinking everything will be alright. Maddie and myself were able to get state insurance, fantastic. So we thought, but so far they haven't paid for anything. Jan. 28th was the first time I got to see you, you were so tiny in that ultrasound screen. I was so happy to see everything looked good and to know you would join us in September.
A week or so passed and more disappointment, your Mom can't remember feeling so stressed and alone. I was some how hoping you could be the glue in holding our family together. Don't worry with my trust in the Lord and a little time I was happy again. Your Dad and I started talking about going back to school. Everything felt right and like we were headed on the right track. Your parents marriage is better than ever before.
I wanted to tell everyone about you, I wanted to shout it out on Facebook and Blog an exciting post. I did tell some immediate family and some friends that you were on your way. I was still nervous that this might have been too hastey. Your Dad couldn't NOT tell anyone so its been hard to cover up. Well I started getting this feeling call it intuition, but I think it was mostly the Spirit telling me that I was strong enough to handle anything even if it meant not getting to meet you in this life. It was so weird how miscarriage was on my mind, but I had some dear family lose some babies in the last couple years and I think that prepared me. I hope your playing with them and are good friends with your cousins. I truly love mine.
Well I started spotting up at Priest Lake while vacationing with the family. I got really nervous, but kept feeling like everything will be alright. On Sunday I had a good talk with the bishop about how sometimes something BAD happens right before something GOOD. I said I could handle it and felt like you were that "good" that I could cling too. I even shared this in my lesson with the YW, who I was dying to tell about you. I came home and realized something was not right. When your Dad and I said our nightly prayers I said, "Heavenly Father we are prepared to accept this baby with open arms, if it be they will". I had JUST taught a lesson about it being God's will and how it is sometimes different then our own. I decided the bleeding was more than normal and I was making an appointment first chance I got.
I waited till 8:02am Monday morning, Feb. 21st, to call and an appointment was made for 3pm. I was freaking out ALL day and tried to keep busy. Your Dad and I went into the appointment, I got some blood work and was sent to the other clinic for a ultrasound. My doctor was so nice. She found you and we got to see a more developed little body. You were the cutest gummy bear I had ever seen. She said that the sac looked alittle abnormal and you had stopped growing a week before, I think that means that you are a special spirit. She seemed more frantic trying to get a better view searching for your little beating heart. We even listened for it. Then I realized it wouldn't be there. Tears filled me eyes as I sort of said goodbye to your sweet little image. The doctor asked if I wanted a second opinion and I said, "No, I know". She said she was sorry and gave me a hug. This was the final disappointment and I was ready to crumble.
How could Heavenly Father think I was that strong, I certainly am not. That whole day I was a complete zombie and didn't know how to function. I couldn't breathe, it was aweful. Well your Grandma W came over and gave me a hug and told me that Priesthood Blessings can do amazing things. I realized I had just had a lesson covering this topic as well, so I asked your Dad who holds the priesthood (which means he can give blessings of comfort or healing and acts for our Heavenly Father). This blessing was like nothing I'd ever experienced before, I felt like our Heavenly Father was speaking to me through your Dad. Word after word filled me with comfort and then a promise that there would be more chances to have children. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I felt like myself again and my head was more clear. Your family and some of my friends gave words of comfort and of love. I have never felt more loved. I know some people handle these experiences differently, but I am sure that just as you were growing that your heart was beating and that you were a little person. I am hopeful and comforted in knowing that we will all be together again, because families can be together forever.
Love,
Your Momma
I love you and I will miss you. I want you to know I prayed for you a month after having my IUD removed several months ago. I wanted you so badly. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to have children again, because this whole IUD thing was new to me. Then week after week I would test and retest hoping, longing. We were sure this was the perfect time to have an addition to our family, because we FINALLY had insurance and Maddie would be the perfect age to be a helpful sibling. Then after spending a weekend in Leavenworth I noticed a bloated tummy, heightened sense of smell, little dizziness, and then alittle nausea. I was so excited, but nervous I had taken many tests before and had been disappointed to tears. I tried to be sneaky, I went into the bathroom and took a test. HALELUJAH, you were there in my tummy and I wasn't going crazy thinking I was having ALL the symptoms.
Then some disappointment, your Dad was let go from work. We were so sad, but kept thinking everything will be alright. Maddie and myself were able to get state insurance, fantastic. So we thought, but so far they haven't paid for anything. Jan. 28th was the first time I got to see you, you were so tiny in that ultrasound screen. I was so happy to see everything looked good and to know you would join us in September.
A week or so passed and more disappointment, your Mom can't remember feeling so stressed and alone. I was some how hoping you could be the glue in holding our family together. Don't worry with my trust in the Lord and a little time I was happy again. Your Dad and I started talking about going back to school. Everything felt right and like we were headed on the right track. Your parents marriage is better than ever before.
I wanted to tell everyone about you, I wanted to shout it out on Facebook and Blog an exciting post. I did tell some immediate family and some friends that you were on your way. I was still nervous that this might have been too hastey. Your Dad couldn't NOT tell anyone so its been hard to cover up. Well I started getting this feeling call it intuition, but I think it was mostly the Spirit telling me that I was strong enough to handle anything even if it meant not getting to meet you in this life. It was so weird how miscarriage was on my mind, but I had some dear family lose some babies in the last couple years and I think that prepared me. I hope your playing with them and are good friends with your cousins. I truly love mine.
Well I started spotting up at Priest Lake while vacationing with the family. I got really nervous, but kept feeling like everything will be alright. On Sunday I had a good talk with the bishop about how sometimes something BAD happens right before something GOOD. I said I could handle it and felt like you were that "good" that I could cling too. I even shared this in my lesson with the YW, who I was dying to tell about you. I came home and realized something was not right. When your Dad and I said our nightly prayers I said, "Heavenly Father we are prepared to accept this baby with open arms, if it be they will". I had JUST taught a lesson about it being God's will and how it is sometimes different then our own. I decided the bleeding was more than normal and I was making an appointment first chance I got.
I waited till 8:02am Monday morning, Feb. 21st, to call and an appointment was made for 3pm. I was freaking out ALL day and tried to keep busy. Your Dad and I went into the appointment, I got some blood work and was sent to the other clinic for a ultrasound. My doctor was so nice. She found you and we got to see a more developed little body. You were the cutest gummy bear I had ever seen. She said that the sac looked alittle abnormal and you had stopped growing a week before, I think that means that you are a special spirit. She seemed more frantic trying to get a better view searching for your little beating heart. We even listened for it. Then I realized it wouldn't be there. Tears filled me eyes as I sort of said goodbye to your sweet little image. The doctor asked if I wanted a second opinion and I said, "No, I know". She said she was sorry and gave me a hug. This was the final disappointment and I was ready to crumble.
How could Heavenly Father think I was that strong, I certainly am not. That whole day I was a complete zombie and didn't know how to function. I couldn't breathe, it was aweful. Well your Grandma W came over and gave me a hug and told me that Priesthood Blessings can do amazing things. I realized I had just had a lesson covering this topic as well, so I asked your Dad who holds the priesthood (which means he can give blessings of comfort or healing and acts for our Heavenly Father). This blessing was like nothing I'd ever experienced before, I felt like our Heavenly Father was speaking to me through your Dad. Word after word filled me with comfort and then a promise that there would be more chances to have children. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I felt like myself again and my head was more clear. Your family and some of my friends gave words of comfort and of love. I have never felt more loved. I know some people handle these experiences differently, but I am sure that just as you were growing that your heart was beating and that you were a little person. I am hopeful and comforted in knowing that we will all be together again, because families can be together forever.
Love,
Your Momma
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