I feel like I've been M.I.A., well if you've been wondering what has been going on I'll fill you in a little bit. I have not been cooking up new exciting delicious recipes, I haven't been running like AT ALL, I haven't been taking any pictures with the exception of today, I have NOT got Maddie potty trained, I haven't been the best at home preschool teacher, and haven't felt well for a entire month. I have been doing a lot of reading of talks, attended the temple, reading of scriptures, and spent a lot of time in prayer. A few of you might have been expecting this post, but a majority of you probably were not. Without telling the world I wanted my family and friends to know that we were expecting a baby this spring. As eager and excited as I was to tell you all I wanted to wait till after my first doctor appointment which I thought was scheduled at the end of my first trimester. When I went in I found out I was only half as far along as I thought I was. It was confusing, frustrating, and scary but I was still hopeful that we would yet have a healthy baby. Three ultrasounds & too many blood tests later it was revealed that we would not have a baby joining our family anytime soon. You'd think the second time around it would be easier, in some ways it was but in different ways it wasn't. I wanted to blog this previously, but I ran solely for the purpose of preparing my body for a future healthy pregnancy. I was impressed to do the race and then promised to our Heavenly Father that I would take care of my body if I was blessed with another baby. Well two days after the race was completed I found out I was expecting. Unfortunately my family figured out my secret on a trip to Utah for my dear Aunt's funeral. I was not prepared to tell everyone, but realized it would be hard to cover up my nausea. I did tell my immediate family and wanted to wait till after my first doctor appointment to tell anyone else. I was sick so sick and was sure this was going to be exactly like my first pregnancy. Sorry this turned into a long post. During Conference weekend every talk spoke to me PATIENCE and I couldn't believe Elder Anderson gave a talk specifically about this situation. Well after all the tests my doctor called me on Monday to give me the bad news. She offered a d&c which I felt would be the best option as I was still having nausea and headaches. Jon gave me a powerful Priesthood blessing Thursday morning and I felt calm the rest of the day. I am two days out from my d&c procedure and feeling well. I've felt so much like my old self today that I can't wait to start running again. I'm still alittle emotional, but overall feeling at peace & hopeful for the future. We are more grateful now than ever for our sweet and slightly terrible soon to be 3 year old. The other day I said to her, "Maddie you are my baby". In response she said, "No mom I'm a sister". I looked up at her and smiled and said, "Yes you are a sister".
I wanted to share this sweet picture of my babies :)
Love this picture. Everyone has been so nice so don't worry I'm doing fine. This blog title was inspired by the beautiful Mormon.org ad created by
Rob & Tracie Morris - Former Super Bowl, Champion, Parents of 5
http://youtu.be/48njTrFpUZMhttp://youtu.be/8nczw6xHJ0I
13 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear about this struggle you are having. It was two years ago that I had my miscarriage and I was listening to conference and the talks seemed to be aimed straight at me. The Lord truly knows us and what we need. You are such a strong and amazing woman! Love this sweet picture.
Oh this broke my heart. After giving birth to a premature baby and loosing her and then miscarrying twice after that I thought we would never be able to have children. It was one of the hardest trials I have ever gone through. I will be thinking of you and praying for you. I wish we stilled lived there. Our little girls would have so much fun together and we could just sit and talk. I love you. Sending you a message to your facebook inbox of something else I was thinking about while reading this. Love you!
my dear friend julie i want to tell you i am extremely sorry for your loss! i know exactly what you are going through as i have lost a set of twins and another baby! it is so hard to go through but know yur heavenly father loves you and that maybe those special babies just needed a heartbeat and knew you were the one to do it. always remember he doesnt give you more then you can handle and wht helped me through was the saying " i can do hard things!" you my friend can do hard things dont let it get you down! all my love is sent your way!
All I can say is that sucks, really really sucks. I am glad you are starting to feel better. I love you cuz!
I'm sorry you're going through this AGAIN! Your positive attitude is seriously impressive. This totally sucks though. Before you start running hard core again be sure to spend time with a pint of Ben and Jerry's and a snuggly blakie. Love you!
I'm so sorry, Julee. I love you so much and look up to you immensely. You'll be in our prayers.
Julee, I'm so sorry. :(
I'm so sorry Julee. Your positive attitude and eternal perspective are definitely inspiring. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Maddie is seriously adorable!
I'm so sorry for your loss Julee! I'm glad you are starting to feel a little bit better! You are in our prayers!
P.S. I love the Maddie & babies picture, she looks so mature! What a cutie!
Julee... This breaks my heart. I'm so sorry! I can't even imagine how hard this has been. :(
You said it perfectly.... you sort of expect it to be easier to handle after your first miscarriage, but it seems like subsequent ones are MUCH more difficult for some reason. I wonder why that is.
Either way, I'm so sorry you've had to deal with such heartache. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Your sweet family is great and I'm glad they're taking good care of you. And your adorable Maddie is just the best!! hugs and well wishes, we love you!
Julee I wish I would have read this post before we came out to Maddie's birthday!!!... I am soo sorry that this has to be your trial. Heavenly Father knows you are strong enough to bear it though. Just think of all of the child raising you will get to do in heaven! I hope you are doing ok. Im just so sad I didn't know!
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